The clock strikes midnight and I decide to get a good night’s sleep before my long day at school tomorrow. After all, I’m exhausted from a busy week.I’m sound asleep when I hear my 15-month-old son, Ethan let out a frantic cry. I quickly put on my glasses so I can make out the numbers on my alarm clock. For a minute I think I’m dreaming until he lets out an even louder cry. I realize it’s barely 2:00 a.m. and I’ve only been asleep for two hours. Why is he awake now? He usually sleeps through the night. I wait a couple of seconds to see if he’ll go back to sleep, but it becomes obvious that he wants me and he wants me now!
My motherly instinct is telling me that something is not right. I go into his room and can immediately tell by taking one look at him that he’s sick. His eyes are dark and heavy and his forehead feels blistering hot. After struggling to have him hold still to take his temperature I discover he has a 104-degree fever, which is the highest it has ever been. A dose of Tylenol, a cold washcloth on his forehead, and some cuddling should put him right back to sleep. Well, that’s what I think but evidently I am wrong. We painfully stay up all night long together.
How can I be upset that my little guy is sick and wants his “mama” to comfort him all night long? Smiling, I reminisce back to when I was a little girl and feel blessed to have had a mom that was always there for me when I was sick.
I decide to go to school late because Ethan is still in bad shape. He has another fever and will be devastated if I leave. Fortunately, my husband is off work and will have to be Mr. Mom until I get home.
The next day Ethan is still fighting a fever, along with teething pain and a terrible diaper rash. Everything happens the week after I wean him, which I have correctly predicted. The doctor prescribes him antibiotics for the first time to treat his ear infection, as well as cream for his sore bottom. I try to be optimistic since he’s a healthy boy and things could be much worse. People whose babies are sick all the time would love to trade places with me.
Caring for a sick child is not easy and requires patience and understanding. It was agonizing to see my baby in pain and not the happy little guy he normally is. I felt like my life was put on hold until he got better. When I had to leave him I felt horrible and struggled to hold back tears on my long commute to school. Luckily, my professors were very sympathetic. My whole world revolved around Ethan, which caused conflict between my role as a mother and role as a student. My role as a mother superseded all of my previous commitments.
This experience has taught me lifelong valuable lessons on how to balance my different roles, which is a common scenario for many mothers. It has also taught me how to overcome the difficulties in life, which will ultimately make me a better person. At least the next time my son gets sick I will know what to expect...maybe?
7 comments:
I can feel your pain! As the mother of 6, I remember well the sleepless nights, the fevers and worst of all - when they cry and you do not know what is wrong. Be comforted in the fact that as long as you are there to hold them, all is well! When you do have to leave them, you are blessed one thousand times if Daddy is there and willing to hold and love them too!
As hard as it can be, having a supportive spouse is amazing.
That is one of the worst and helpless feelings a mother can experience. Having a sick child is bad enough, but then not being with them adds to the agony. Even though my children are now 23 and 19, I experienced it again a few months ago after they both had their wisdom teeth pulled and I had to leave them for a short time to go pick up their antibiotics and pain medication. Even though they were home with their dad, I still felt that pain of not being there. That is why we are the nurturing one!! Hopefully, Ethan isnt sick very often. 8-) Luv ya! Aunt Denise
104!! That is high, poor little guy, it is so hard when they are sick. I'm so sorry. Hope he's feeling better now.
As a nurse and mother I too have dealt with sick children and balancing my many roles. I agree - the most important role that I have is being a mom. Even though my children are adults and have children of their own I have never regretted making my children first in my life. Amber, you have learned a valuable lesson. It is true that most employers and college professors are very sympathetic. The most important gift you can give to your child is your time. Truly evaluate your financial needs vs. wants to determine your need to work outside the home. Your chance to pass on your love and values to your child goes so quickly. Decide now what impact you want to leave on your child. You have chosen wisely in your management of Ethan's illness. Health is a gift, nurture it always.
Wow...your blog nailed it! That is exactly what happens when my daughter is sick, and I feel the same way! It made me so sad to read if because it reminded me so much of my own daughter! I agree with you that being a mother should come first before anything! It's hard when you child is sick and can't tell you how he/she feels!
The days when are children are sick can seem very long but the years go by so quick. You seem like a wonderful, nurturing mother. Everyone tells me how fast they grow up. My oldest is 6 and it feels like I just blinked and he entered kindergarten. Enjoy your little guy!
Hi Amber, sorry to hear that your lil guy was so sick:( poor mom, poor guy! Im Tara(your cousin Troys wife who just adopted 2 girls from Ethiopia) It was so fun to see you post on my blog, and YES, I do remember you and your sweet family:) I really enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to reading more:) Im not always good about posting, as you can imagine with 7 kiddos, Im just good to read it! So know I am reading, and hopefully once in awhile I will even have time to REPLY!:)
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